


Are you a love machine?

by Daaishi



Category: Hello! Project, Morning Musume.
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Crack, F/F, Girly!Sayashi Riho, Punk!Kudo Haruka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-09 00:36:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3229610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daaishi/pseuds/Daaishi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kudo Haruka keeps finding bad pick-up lines in her locker and is determined to find the culprit.</p>
<p>Warning: Really bad Morning Musume pick-up lines.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are you a love machine?

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuses.

****

It first happened in the first week of February. Kind snowflakes lightly tapped at the windows, crystallising the Earth into an enormous diamond. Everyone was wearing warm clothes and assorted scarves, gloves and winter hats. All coffee shops were working harder, selling hot chocolates, coffees and teas to everyone who just wanted to keep warm in the cold season.

Kudo Haruka was a girl in her first year if high school, but everyone thought she was older because of the way she looked and acted. She wore tattered jeans and leather jackets. Her hair was short, with her fringe on one side. She also had a small nose piercing. She was a tomboy, alright, but she did it in a quite feminine way. She was very picky about her clothes – do you even know how hard it is to find black clothes that aren’t slightly different blacks? – and her make-up. If her eyeliner wasn’t perfect and symmetrical, she would redo it until it was. It made her eyes appear larger and prettier. Make-up overall made her look and feel better about herself. All the guys want a “bad girl”, and she loved that attention. However, she wasn’t interested in any of them. She was into girls, especially cute girls, like Sayashi Riho.

She was the cutest girl Haruka had ever seen. She always wore frilly dresses, her long hair flowing beautifully over her shoulders in curls. Ribbons decorated her hair and dresses. Her shoes were cute Mary Janes or high-heels, always colour-coded accordingly to her dress and other accessories. Her earrings were usually small and hidden behind her hair. She had a mischievous cat-like face, complemented by the cat-eye (perfect) eyeliner she always wore. It was never black though, it always varied. Red, blue, pink, yellow, orange, you name it, she probably had it in her make-up kit, which was most likely huge. Did it occupy a whole closet? How big was her house?

Everyone on the school hallways was talking about how Valentine’s Day was so close and confessing to their loves. Ignoring all the fuss, Haruka went to her locker. She opened it and found a small note. It was pink and it smelled like cherries. She took it in her hands and unfolded it. It was small, and there was something written on it in cursive handwriting.

_Are your pants from outer space or is your butt just out of this world?_

“What the…?”

She checked the note for any hints to the person who sent this, but nothing. It was clearly from a girl – or a really gay guy, but Haruka was a girl, so that was off the list.

She laughed. The line was so pathetic, she would’ve gone out with the person who wrote this right off the bat.

She took what she needed from the locker and closed it. She took the note with her. Unfortunately, no one came to her to confess. No one she would’ve actually dated, like Riho, for example. A few cute guys confessed to her in her life. Too bad gay flowed through her veins.  

The classes were boring, as usual. She paid just enough attention to pass. She was smart, she could’ve been a straight A student, she just didn’t care enough. Passing was good enough.

The next day, when she went to school, she opened her locker and another note fell from it. This time, it was yellow and smelled of lemons. Wow, creative. She unfolded it and read it.

_Are you a love machine? Because I want you to make love, to me._

She laughed again, covering her mouth. This is so bad on so many levels. She loved it. She compared the handwritings of the note from the pink note and the yellow note. It was obviously the same. _I am going to find this girl and date her to death_ , she told herself. She really was determined to.

That day wasn’t on the same side with her, though. She tried really hard to find her secret admirer, with no luck. No one acted funny around her, no one tried to confess, nothing. _Whoever you are, you are not escaping Kudo Haruka’s hug once I find you._

She decided that the next day she would go to school early and spy on her locker to find the culprit once and forever.

So she woke up early, almost forgetting to put a bra on, and went to school an hour earlier than she should’ve. She waited. And waited. Aaaand waited. Unfortunately, nothing happened. No one walked by her locker, no one put anything in her locker. She was actually quite disappointed.

When everyone was already roaming the halls and class was getting close, she went to her locker. _Maybe today she couldn’t come up with a pick-up line_ , she thought as she opened it. But nope, it was there, this time on a green note smelling of apples, looking at her. She opened it.

_I forgot my phone number, can I borrow yours?_

When the fuck did she put it in her locker? Haruka decided that she would stay after school now. Oh, yes, you bastard, you will be found.

And after school she stayed. For thirty minutes. For an hour. Two hours. What the fuck, does she come in at night to put the note? Tomorrow was Valentine’s Day, she couldn’t just abandon the whole thing now. Haruka thought this whole thing was just a build-up to a confession or something, but she wasn’t sure.

She went home after four hours of waiting because her phone had run out of battery.

The next day, she went to school early again. Sayashi Riho was next to Haruka’s locker. No, you don’t get it. Sayashi Riho was next to _her_ locker. Haruka went to her before she could run away.

“Sayashi.” she whispered mysteriously.

“H-Haruka, hello.”

Riho blushed. Haruka put her hand next to her head and leaned slightly, trapping her, like those guys in the movies.

“Are you behind those notes?”

Riho looked at her dumbfounded. _She smells like roses…_ Pushing that thought aside, Haruka got closer to her.

“I bet you just put one in my locker.”

Riho tried to run away, but Haruka kept her from doing so. She opened her locker, and the note was actually there. She took it.

“ _I’m only chasing you because I’m a hopeless dream chaser…_ ” she read it out loud. “Well, Riho, the password to my heart is zero.”

Riho didn’t say anything for a few seconds, she just mumbled something, her face as red as the note she had just given to Haruka. After a few seconds, she started singing.

“Zero, zero, zero, password is zero!”            

…What. What just happened to the cute little girl who was so embarrassed she couldn’t talk. Riho had a smug smile on her face.

“You caught me, Duu~ It was me the whole time!”

Haruka was the dumbfounded one now. What just happened. What.

“So, I was wondering, would you maybe go out with me? But not today, today every coffee shop, restaurant, you name it is full. Maybe, like, tomorrow? And now I know you like me too! I mean, you can’t really not like me, I’m cute.”

“…Sure. I’ll pick you up at six. Where do you live?”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if I want to continue this or not, who knows~


End file.
